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  • "Here's a little fact you may not know about me. I dated Ashley and Jessica Simpson." Guy in audience: "Me too!" Matt: "Yeah, I remember you. You were the foot in my ass. It was all nice, all hands...then it was OH that's a big toe!" - Matt Nathanson

  • "You know when people just shit on you and you want to get them back? Like you could abuse the power and put their names and the places they live so the people like you, on our side, can threaten them? That's power, my friends. This one time...oh fuck it, - Matt Nathanson

  • Does this sound like shit out there or just up here? Crowd: "Just up there!" Well I'm down then - Matt Nathanson

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